Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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