Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I will pee on everything he values.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
