about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
