oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
