So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
