All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
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