sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
It's just like the Real World with babies
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
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Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
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New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.