omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.