it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's