And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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