The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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