I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
