did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
