I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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