Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
We are two peas in an std pod
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
