Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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