There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize