oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
