In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
