I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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