it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
