No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
