so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
