Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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