His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
All I want is dick and wine.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
