Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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