just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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