Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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