McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
This is the high leading the old right now
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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