guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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