:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i think i have two assholes
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
