My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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