Cold hands, warm shart.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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