Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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