Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
