how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
