you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize