Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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