Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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