You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
