u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
