It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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