I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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