So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
