It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
