i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
