How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize