Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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