we have officially lost it.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
