she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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