She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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