How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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