I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
