so that wasnt chicken after all
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
