I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
