he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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