walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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