i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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