Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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