Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize