My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I just want to make out with him forever
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
