yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
