loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
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