Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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