Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
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