So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
