I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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