god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
