All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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