my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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